Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Kinda funny. What made you think it was for a high five? Have you never been out to eat before?
teentee401 37
Well doesn't the waiter usually pick up the plate, or say something? Instead of just holding their hand out in silence?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
catsnbees 0
NUTHIN' WRONG WIT DAT
jumpdancehigh 0
Awkward ~
runyoufool 0
weird
cucuto89 0
i blame the waiter for not playin along with you, give him a small tip
jessicaiscool 0
if the waiter isn't a close friend, why would you even consider giving him a high five? lol.
Indiana_fml 4
#4 True!
easylazy 0
thats not fml, thats just retarded
alyssamarie218 0
hahahahaahha nice job
genius_man16 1
YDI for wasting my time Really, this isn't an FML, funny, embarrasing. Or anything. All you had to do was give him your plate. I'll bet you a gazillion dollars he didn't think about it a minute later. Also, to those saying "I didn't come here to read tragedies": You guys are the reason this site has gone down the tubes. FML USED to be where people posted bad shit that happened to them, and a funny one every now and then. Now it's just "Today, I stubbed my toe. FML" shit i say. shit
jet_fml 0
I agree with #4 to some degree. HOWEVER, this story was not funny. The end. mylifeisaverage.com = wayyy better.