Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Kinda funny. What made you think it was for a high five? Have you never been out to eat before?
teentee401 37
Well doesn't the waiter usually pick up the plate, or say something? Instead of just holding their hand out in silence?
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Comments (168)
Sucks2beYouxD 0
FYL? Wow you should die already.
Azurea_fml 0
Because a waiter REALLY wants to high-five you. ******* dumbass.
Windexglow 0
The average quality of fmls have been in a big decline - which seems to match the growth of how many fmls are submitted...
herby123 0
worst FML ever
The_Cait 0
Have you EVER been to a restaurant before? I usually try to find a way to be sympathetic to the OP's situation...but you're either both full of shit and very unimaginative, or an idiot who over dramatizes a stupid situation. P.S. #39 I agree! The site became more popular...and this is the result... ::sigh::
ejvlols 0
wow you guys are such ignorant dicks saying this isnt a real fml. go ahead read the first fmls published on this site. yes the ones on pages 260 and a little later. THOSE are the real fmls and frankly im tried of people bitching that an fml "isn't worthy". then you complain that your sob stories aren't published eg. "today my family died in a suicide terrorist bombing. fml" an fml is something stupid in your day that happens that makes you feel like shit. it doesn't necessarily mean that your life is forever ruined. holy **** you guys piss me off with your ******* ignorant comments. THIS is a real fml and if you think it isnt then just do us all a favor and leave
xHaniffax 0
In no way does this qualify as an "FML" Who the **** moderates these? Whoever it is needs to be shot.
thatshortblonde 0
Haha I've definitely done that before.
Bunneh18 0
Lol. I think this person must have anger issues if he thought it was FML.
narehs 0
nice one... LOL