Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly ate the last of it, looked up smiling and said, "Thanks!" The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, while I was leaving a restaurant, the very handsome waiter, whom I had been trying to hit on all night, said to me, in front of everyone, "Why did you write your phone number on the table with hearts around it? You know I won't call you." FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Kinda funny. What made you think it was for a high five? Have you never been out to eat before?
teentee401 37
Well doesn't the waiter usually pick up the plate, or say something? Instead of just holding their hand out in silence?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
tvradar 0
Haha lol
xiloveyoux3 0
This really wasn't a FML It was pretty funny but you can get over it, idk how it made it up here -.-
Ryno 0
**** you're lame. To #13, agreed.
fretforyerlatte 0
agreed with 4. and people sure are nasty on here. so the only reason you guys come here is to read about people's lives actually being ruined? that's sad. i'm pretty sure it's supposed to be funny, not a mope-fest.
Pepperolls 0
I found this one pretty funny actually, screw you all you people who have no sense of humor.
MrsSarcasm 3
Agreed! This actually made me laugh out cuz I can see myself doing this and I would probly be pretty embaressed about it too. What if the OP was on a date? Hahahaha oh man that would be classic
AG_Pennypacker 0
how is that a FML at all i aspire to give anyone who puts their hand out a hi five
PenguinBob 0
ok so the tiniest thing happened. ok u high fived him by accident. theres no FML to that. it was a mistake and im sure the waiter forgot by now.......
schnozberry00 0
this made me laugh actually... i serve at a restaurant too and if someone high fived me id be laughing pretty hard... two points lol #4 i totally agree... FMLs dont have to be horrible all the time... little random stupid funny FMLs count all the same
nonotme 0
#1 all the way.
paperfox_fml 0
If people want to whine about the moderators letting shitty FMLs through, maybe they should try ******* moderating? Go on, go do it. Anyone can.