Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
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Top comments
waswashere 0
Damn I knew I misplaced my ferret
Blacksxe 1
Well if you don't want those cards... I umm have a friend who would love them...
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Comments (117)
panda_bear0618 1
sounds like my job. I put a chipmunk in my buddy's desk drawer, little ****** went ape shit when he opened it. it was so funny! good times...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It was a taxidermy fetish sex shop, of course. They shoot the animals on-site to ensure quality. Sounds quite pleasant to me.
stiansr 8
You know what? Your office sounds like the best workplace ever!
taerts 9
Your coworkers seem to have a great sense of humor :) If only you weren't the recipient...
BigManWithThePla 0
I'd kick that dogs ******* ass, hop the fence and get that bitch a smack down. FYL, **** Your Life!
max_wilder 9
Sounds like a fun place to work
anneboleyn994 2
At first I read 'dead pheasants' as 'dead peasants'. I was thinking that your colleagues sounded like ******* sociopaths.
_Oblivion_ 12
Well yeah I meant to say that also. Not all ammo is illegal
HunterAlpha1 8
i would LOVE it if someone left ammo on my desk! you should be grateful you have such wonderful coworkers OP.
soog2 5
Where the **** do you work?!?!?!