Love: Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 10 923

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 16 142

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 556

You deserved it 7 666

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 723

You deserved it 24 971

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 297

You deserved it 5 061

By couldntholdit - 12/07/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 368

You deserved it 23 959

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 768

You deserved it 11 914

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 755

You deserved it 6 673

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 5 153

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 340

You deserved it 2 811

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

JackRocksSoSuckI 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:01

lol haha that's funny

bustyboi 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:03

that blows!

Comments

iceteabro 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:38

it could have been worse, good thing it was only a fart.

AdelontE 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:39

lool nice one

mrnipples7311 13

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:42

wow

lazyandproud 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:42

I can relate to the whole leaving in boxers thing only didnt leave in boxers i left in my full uniform but no shoes -.- i guess u've never experienced life until u ran outside half naked and scare a bunch of kids

mrnipples7311 13

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:44

lazyandproud wrong fml

ghostwitch1863 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:47

charming

MyNameIsJonus 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:47

hahaha I'm sorry but that was funny

celkey 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:50

haha lol that's pretty funny. but yeah that would totally suck for you :(

sikanderimran 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:52

Maybe that was your Freudian way of denying anal. screw you for denying anal!

Shaun232 4

Tuesday 2 March 2010 2:53

damm that sucks

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Video games Geek Gamers Parents Family Kids AITA Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Health Weird Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams Miscellaneous Friends Mysterious School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 247

You deserved it 7 781

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 971

You deserved it 3 550

Today, I went shopping for a nice outfit to wear for a job interview. A fake job interview. One that I just made up so my mother would get off my case about finding a job. I don't know which is sadder, the fact that I can't get a job, or that my mother actually believed me about the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 38 885

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 714

You deserved it 865 491

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 967

You deserved it 4 658

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 1 633

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 378

You deserved it 80 441

Same thing different taste

An attempt was made

Top comments

Comments