Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lordslaya53 14
Just be happy he didn't eat you
red_headforlife 15
I'd call him an obese asshole and tell him to get the hell out of the seat. What a jerk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
FweakofCydonia 40
OP, I really like your username. It's very appropriate for your FML post :)
azhang1066 12
Let him have it. That way, he will die earlier from being morbidly obese and the world will have one less asshole alive.
paintballwarrior 20
I would have said, "Hey jaba, get out of this lady's seat."
The_9th_Doctor 18
should have kicked him in the balls. he would have moved then
Ugi 27
What he needs is a run before breakfast.
Rallred32 20
What if she wasn't pregnant?
HighlandShadows 48
The obese man would either have to burn some calories standing or hope that/complain until someone gives up their seat for him. You're not entitled to a seat on a public bus, it's a first come first served situation. If someone chooses to give up their seat to you, it's a kindness. People don't typically take kindly to self-entitled pricks who try to steal a kindness that was meant for someone else.
LizReszke 11
If I was in that sotuation, I would have had to really, and I mean reall, hold back the urge to punch the fat ass in the face.
slimashli 7
God, ******* lard asses think they deserve everything when they're actually lazy ***** who don't deserve have the shit they get thats how they got fat, parents spoiled them and now they believe they deserve everything without having to work for it
Twisted_Killjoy 23
What an asshole
millsjoshua949 12
Sometimes people really suck.