Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Forever alone doesn't mind being serenaded by creeps on the train. It's also pretty rude to laugh at people with disabilities. There's a special place in hell for people like you. Lol jokes! You have every right to laugh at a creeper trying to creep you up in a subway, especially if they're cockeyed! Besides, he was probably looking at the person next to you.
ohmandapants 17
Seriously OP? You're an immature bitch. You find it funny that this poor man is cross-eyed? Well then I guess the only reason he serenaded you was because he couldn't see you properly. Doesn't feel good to be made fun of does it? Laugh because he's serenading you, don't laugh 'cause he's cross-eyed.
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Comments (122)
Mercedes16 7
You need to control yourself. That was a bitch move.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Leave OP alone, I highly doubt she thought it was appropriate to laugh but it is a normal response.
chatoyant_fml 12
Well since she wrote a fml about it I kind of feel like her laughter wasn't just a nervous response.
Gekko0110 6
You know what OP? I am cross-eyed. So **ck you!
SwtCherryPie 26
My sentiments exactly.
pinstriped31 7
Me too... :( this made me really sad. I hate when people cannot tell I am looking at them... Or the fact that they see 3d haha
Dustin_Pedobear 9
88, you're not cross-eyed in your picture, you lying sonofabitch.
sofitina 20
89- Yes, she clearly is. You can see that her eyes aren't coordinated with each other; just beause you can't see it, does not mean it's not there. she did not deserve to be called a bitch.. Why would anyone lie about that in the first place? As for 88 and the original commenter, I'm sorry you feel this way, I doubt OP meant to offend anyone. Even in that was a little rude of her/him.
Sumo69 9
Maybe he was singing for food and the world doesn't revolve around you he wasn't serenading you just hungry
pimpnainteasy 5
Yeah op is a bitch... Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. You're lucky he didn't beat your ass
louielove19 4
..not to be mean, but I dont think he could....aha jkjkjk
br0ccoli 15
You seriously would laugh at someone just because he was born different than you? I hope you got hit on the head with a guitar. FYL for being an inconsiderate bastard.
SpottedZebra42 14
I know someone who is cross-eyed, so I can kinda see where you are coming from, but it is not right to laugh at someone for something they can't control in any situation.
MissHayleyJames 7
You can't really control your laughter or what you think is funny. The best thing you can do is turn it into a coughing fit and hope no one notices and try to think of something else.
SwtCherryPie 26
Does anyone else hear an echo? You already posted this once in another comment about 3 above this one.
MissHayleyJames 7
...and your point would be? My first comment was a response to someone else's. This comment was a general comment. People do it all the time on here. Welcome to FML.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Can people reading this not understand laughing isn't something you can fully control? OP isn't a bitch for reacting the same way most people would react.
stephy2lee 2
You can control what you think is funny and what you laugh at
cmyk 19
The point is, as she said, that she laughed cuz he was cross eyed.. Not the serenade.. Which is to say she laughs at his disabillity, not his action. And that makes people call her a bitch.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Really 44 you stop and think to yourself is this situation actually funny before you laugh. Im not saying OP should laugh at him I'm just saying it isn't her fault she did laugh.
stephy2lee 2
Pretty much. I think that laughing at anyone for something they can't control is messed up
chimocho 8
Yeah but cross-eyed people do look ridiculous. I'd laugh.
SwtCherryPie 26
@48: Yes this situation may be funny if you think about it. Some random guy walks up to a girl and starts serendading her. That isnt the point. She said specifically she was laughing at his disability, so yes, it is her fault. Thats just cold and insensitive. And she deserves to be called a bitch by everyone on here that says so.
lolipop1234_fml 7
58 that isn't the point I'm trying to make and I really disagree with you. Yes I do agree it's rude laughing but I'm my opinion I feel it wasn't OPs fault, she could have nervously laughed at his disability. But as I said before, controlling what you laugh at sometimes isn't possible
My_Misery 0
If it would have been written as, today I had a bout of some nervous/uncontrollable laughter when I saw a cross-eyed man trying to serenade me. Then maybe you could speculate that. However, the way she wrote it she specifically points out his disability and laughs at his misfortune. That is indeed a bitch move. She's consciously picking here and yes you can usually control what you choose to laugh at.
stephy2lee 2
And the face your making in your picture is ridiculous but I'm not laughing at you.
lolipop1234_fml 7
Well 76 I think if she said uncontrollably laughter she would be pointing out the obvious, as most laughter is. Unless it's fake and I highly doubt she would fake laugh. Also when a situation like the OPs occurs and you know you are not ment to laugh it usually makes it worse and you have to. It isn't a "bitchy" thing to laugh in situations like that as the OP didn't just see a cross eyed man and laugh. He approached her and sang, which some people would find awkwardly funny, then to look and see he is cross eyed could understandable set her off laughing.
MissHayleyJames 7
76- Please explain how you can't prevent yourself from laughing when something is funny. The closest you can come is snorting while trying to hold it in.
ipwnallmen 10
Oddly sweet. But yes, laughter can be hard to contain when the situation calls for it...
KaelaKhaotic 5
That's so sweet! It shouldn't matter if he was cross-eyed! At least he had the guts to go up and serenade you in front of everyone on the subway.