By Anonymous - 4/1/2021 14:01

Disney 2021

Today, I realised that I'm kinda living the life of a Disney princess, because I'm lonely and all my friends are animals. Yes, I also talk to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

754

You deserved it

125

Tweet

Share

Vulture

BO Central

Call CPS!

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31583

You deserved it

4220

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Stafford

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23390

You deserved it

1457

Tweet

Share

By thewordsicantsay - Canada

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30457

You deserved it

3364

Tweet

Share

By NickJJ - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43427

You deserved it

18377

Tweet

Share

By toeloezz - Netherlands

Today, during a regular checkup at the dentist, I got a wisdom tooth pulled out which resulted in me looking like a fat hamster. Tomorrow is my first day as an English teacher in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11977

You deserved it

1255

Tweet

Share

By Emily J. - United States

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17433

You deserved it

38601

Tweet

Share

By blovesg - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41267

You deserved it

538091

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/3/2021 13:59

So many questions

Today, I work at the DMV. My ex-husband’s sister came in for a last name change. When I looked at the marriage license and her other documents, it was revealed that she was never his sister. My ex-husband is now her husband. Now I understand why they always spent time alone together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1620

You deserved it

78

Tweet

Share

By BruisedPride

Tumblr

Today, I fell down concrete stairs trying to plug my computer into an outlet. I now have a twisted ankle, scrape on my elbow and a huge scratch across my laptop. The best part? The outlet wasn't even working. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1263

You deserved it

317

Tweet

Share

By GeriGeriBoBeri - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10162

You deserved it

39260

Tweet

Share

By Iwtumn - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25615

You deserved it

17195

Tweet

Share

By Yudith

Potholes

Today, I ran to catch the night bus which passes every hour, when it unexpectedly passed its stop and turned right. I ran faster, only to trip on a roadwork sign and scrape both knees on the half-rebuilt road, ruining my new yoga pants in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1326

You deserved it

278

Tweet

Share

By Co-B - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15826

You deserved it

60700

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12595

You deserved it

34277

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

And next on The Voice…

Today, I found out I have a bad singing voice. How? The choir judge decided to yell "STOP! Please just stop!" During my solo. In front of everyone. During the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1867

You deserved it

231

Tweet

Share

By Somethingswrongwiththispic - United States

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10169

You deserved it

46845

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Aston

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35500

You deserved it

5620

Tweet

Share

By onedollar - Venezuela

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8665

You deserved it

65511

Tweet

Share

By ZAS - Canada - Toronto

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27183

You deserved it

2047

Tweet

Share

By B1N

Today, I took a shower and went to put clothes on after, only to find no clothes in my closet. My mom took them all and hid them. No idea why. No idea when I will get them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1883

You deserved it

205

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was shopping in an upscale store. As I was changing, I heard one of the snobby saleswomen say to mine "You shouldn't bother. She isn't going to buy anything." Determined to "show her", I purchased everything I'd tried on. It came to around $500. My credit card was declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16821

You deserved it

80438

Tweet

Share

By cheeseless - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12418

You deserved it

3863

Tweet

Share

By the_music_major - United States

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33367

You deserved it

4069

Tweet

Share

By itchyyet - Australia - Hawker

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23670

You deserved it

1492

Tweet

Share

By impickingyourhomegran - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29543

You deserved it

1894

Tweet

Share

By evilparents - United States

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28926

You deserved it

5960

Tweet

Share

By Screwed - Australia

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50281

You deserved it

15748

Tweet

Share

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Mixology

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

299

You deserved it

2270

Tweet

Share

By MandieL - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I rushed over to stop my infant daughter from falling off her swing. Luckily just before she hit the ground, I woke up. Unfortunately, I woke up because I'd rolled off my bed and hit the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20136

You deserved it

1786

Tweet

Share

By totallyscrewedomg - United States

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37306

You deserved it

12385

Tweet

Share

By honeybee2487 - United States

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31837

You deserved it

2283

Tweet

Share

By NoorFML - United States

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43842

You deserved it

7473

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40564

You deserved it

10129

Tweet

Share

By ummPORQUE - United States

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

34928

You deserved it

70516

Tweet

Share

By left out - United States - Spencer

Today, I sang "happy birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55751

You deserved it

4177

Tweet

Share

By comphone - France

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27290

You deserved it

9580

Tweet

Share

By Time to study again

Today, I was taking the SAT and feeling really confident in my answers. When we were close to finishing, some idiot pulled the fire alarm. All of us have to retake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4551

You deserved it

208

Tweet

Share

By Z - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10648

You deserved it

792

Tweet

Share

By oGxFoopFoop - 28/5/2020 20:00

Shit's going down

Today, I was taking a shit in my friend's bathroom when his brother's girlfriend walked in. Nobody decided to tell me that the lock didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1367

You deserved it

148

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26437

You deserved it

2886

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By TanteTine | 5

#7962124 - Monday 4 January 2021 15:23

Well, of course you do. People who don't talk to their animals are weird.

By mekiswrite | 21

#7962141 - Monday 4 January 2021 17:54

It only becomes an issue when they start talking back and you can understand what they're saying.

COMMENTS

By TanteTine | 5

#7962124 - Monday 4 January 2021 15:23

Well, of course you do. People who don't talk to their animals are weird.

By mekiswrite | 21

#7962141 - Monday 4 January 2021 17:54

It only becomes an issue when they start talking back and you can understand what they're saying.

By Marcella1016 | 31

#7962208 - Monday 4 January 2021 21:44

Nothing wrong with talking to animals. The problem is if you start to hear them talk back. Although I just asked my cat, and he said it’s fine.

By tounces7 | 27

#7962238 - Tuesday 5 January 2021 1:30

You're the "Before" story, of the life of a Disney Princess, anyway.

By OrySoma | 9

#7962251 - Tuesday 5 January 2021 5:04

Disney princess is code for sad cat lady