Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a man punched me in the face because he said I took his son's job. He meant both me and his son applied for the same job. He also asked to speak to my boss, because he thinks I "cheated." FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
Today, some woman ran up, hugged me from behind, and called me another dude's name. When she saw my face, she apologised for getting the wrong person, and ran off. Perfectly innocent, right? Nope. My wife is forcing me to sleep in another room until I admit I’m having an affair. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, my co-worker thought it would be funny to tell her husband that she cheated on him with me. I'm scared to death and I don't dare to go out by myself. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
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Top comments
kkmwong 11
People really like threatening others these days. Call the police if it becomes violent.
ocramavaf 15
well **** a duck, that's awkward, I say track him down and explain he's got the wrong guy before it snowballs into a bigger issue
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Comments (71)
perdix 31
I'm wondering what that last fact had to do with anything. Maybe the father-in-law "borrows" the OP's phone to sext the big guy's wife?
VeganVampyre 27
I was wondering about that too. 38 makes sense, but if that's the case the fml wasn't written very well.
challan 19
There is something about a sexy older man that some women can't resist. I agree... the husband was yelling at the wrong guy, it was Daddy!! Father in law has got it going on.
tgod2013 5
You should probably tell your co-workers lol it's probably one of then
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Ooooooh that sounds like a bad situation>.
limitedition 25
If I were you I'd tell your wife about this ASAP before the big, angry guy does. Your life could be very miserable very quickly if she believed that.
SynysterNero 20
Calmly explain it to him but if he continues to threaten you call law enforcement but if he swings at you then defend yourself and fight back
RedPillSucks 33
Ricky, you got some 'splainin to do!!!
wonderbreadman 8
Lol shrug it off and keep a knife
allliseee 8
should've slapped him and yelled: you stop sleeping with MY wife.
notsosweetgrl 7
Since he had the wrong guy that means the other guy is still messing with his wife which could mean more problems for you later on
happylawyer 16
I read your post and felt like being at work! Hope your in-law knows you well.