Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, the jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom passed away when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered, "Women drivers." FML
Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
Today, I took my parents up on their invitation to spend Thanksgiving with them. My 3 year-old daughter refused to get out of the car and insisted on waiting there. When asked why, she said, "I don't like Grandma because she's mean to Daddy!" Not only did my parents hear, we haven't told her he, my husband, passed away 4 months ago. FML
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Top comments
license2chill 5
Smooth, try not to be so sarcastic next time
randomthing 22
That's just bad luck. D:
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Comments (87)
imadinosaursolik 3
You sound like a straight up asshole
Peacelove0404 26
You sarcastic asshole.
sorrowsangel89 1
Eeeeh. I'd say that while it's a good idea to avoid making jokes like that around a girl you want to see, she does need to stop being so afraid of everything. People die when they die, she can't let someone else's bad luck ruin her life. She needs to face her fears and move on.
caitiebug1119 15
YDI because honestly, you sound like a jerk.
browneyed 7
i feel really evil, but i really love the name ('Cherrish it'") xD lol
2dog 15
YDI you insensitive bitch!!!!!!!
beclaurela 18
Dick.
Darkme 1
ouch that sucks
jwbfml 11
1. Open mouth. 2. Insert foot.
mdrd_fml 4
I feel bad for her ... Her whole life is tragedy A