Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML
He needs them more than you
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Not now, guts!
Today, marks the third day I've spent with a cute guy who has a crush on me. Before going to a public pool, we had a nice breakfast together. However, the food did not agree with me, so I loudly emptied my guts in the poolside restroom. He sent me home after, and will no longer answer my texts. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
The language of love
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
I wouldn't discard the possibility of him being the culprit and saying that to divert suspicions.
DocBastard 40
I've heard of being **** blocked, but never caca blocked.
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Comments (102)
MasqueradePrince 25
So it makes you a freak to not want to be in a pool with feces floating in it?
KushCrushin89 10
I believe he was calling the person who shit a freak, and seeing as he didn't know who to blame he blamed them all.
Bigfabthetruth52 22
That's just nasty.
alycion 39
Sounds like there were two turds in the pool. Maybe he heard caddy shack humor was making a come back.
GhostDuck 30
Plot twist: It was OP's crush who pooted.
olpally 33
Caddyshack!!!! DOODY!!!!! Lol. Spaulding! NOOOO!! Lol.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Plot twist.. 25 just ******* said that. Even bigger plot twist, you just said the same damn thing! Holy shit, I even surprised myself with that last one..
StellaNox 16
What a shitty guy!
Han1156 23
I thought we were done with the plot twist shit no pun intended
gerrags 16
And then the big brown shark came!!
jfghvdgjcs 2
That means he did it