Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
Is he nuts? It takes balls to talk about something so personal with a stranger. FYL, that's weird as heck, should've.... cut him off.
zingline89 18
If you're a pharmacist, not so terrible. If you're a 15 year old girl working the drive-thru window at McDonalds, FYL.
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Comments (70)
perdix 31
So, did he want fries with that?
Enslaved 38
I had to hear that same story one time. And how he had to sit on a bag of frozen peas to bring the swelling down. Then he informed me the sex was still just as great as ever! :P
KiddNYC1O 22
Got me squinting and wincing.
gracehi 33
You should have told him that his testicles are a matter of total irrelevance to you. Reminds me of that time a guy told me the condoms sold at the store where I was working at the time were too small for him. Like I ******* care.
Bliss391 7
We really need to know what kind of job you have to determine how strange this really is.
CrazyManNo9 29
I am hoping you are the nurse then... Or the doctor?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Op is clearly a hooker.
olpally 33
That's a real "what the ****?" Kind of moment... Smh.
Pleonasm 36
"IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER"
mylifestoryy 6
People are so gross sometimes.
bach2121 13
Why?
Jaxx66 21
.... Because I gotta!