Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
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Top comments
Deemon_Cat 0
You shoulda beat the shit outta her to top it off ._. after all, her bf said some other chick looks better in the same dress and she was drunk, I think this is more of a **** her life.
Samuraixman 3
have sex with her boyfriend
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Comments (147)
bob1233 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA that's the funniest mental picture EVER!
nanoflacka 0
Piss on her face!
xtatik 0
THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF VULGARITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous5328 0
why did 1000+ say she deserved it!!? its not her fault she looked better in the dress!
skuldlunrix 0
They were probably trolling. Or they really honestly think she should've worn a different dress.
apocalocyntosis 0
That girl's ******' awesome. FYL though. Edit: You should've just jacked her dress and left her there naked.
ohmandapants 17
I agree with #92 :) although maybe after taking her dress, cover her with the puke-covered one. Like a nice smelly chunky blankie.
omar_fml 0
haha that sucks
rustylertz 0
In Canada?? You're supposed to be the sane ones! :(
bucketgirl 0
#105: Canada? Sane? I heard a rumor over a thousand border patrol drones were deployed recently because us crazy Canadians keep sending those silly Americans all their drugs... or something? Maybe it's the illegal beaver trafficking, who knows! Anyhow, I bet you were in Vancouver. Because here in Victoria, we're much too nice for that kind of stuff! ..... /endBS
princess__m 0
lmfao i wouldnt be so sure about that! i'm from victoria too... i know a few girls who would probably do this. okay, two. but still. haha
its_shrimpage 0
ydi for a) yelling at a drunk person who probably has no fckn idea what shes doing. b) continuously yelling at a drunk girl who you should have assumed was about to puke, and c) for sounding like a whiny conceited bitch right now
Zolotros 0
you, sir, are a ******* moron.
RoguePenguin 0
Did you even read the post? A girl she had never spoken to walked up to her and attacked her for a coincidence that she had no way of knowing about a head of time. I hope you get puked on.
Ohnothingreally 0
its_shrimpage has a drunk girl fetish. Silly little boy. ;)