Intimacy: Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally...

By Abrams52 - United States - Fishers

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61549

You deserved it

35717

Favorite

Intimacy

Clean up in aisle 3 please

Hello Alanis ? We've got something for you.

Ant life

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57660

You deserved it

3170

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Midlothian

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51704

You deserved it

5311

Favorite

By je_regrette_tout - France - Livry-gargan

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24136

You deserved it

66004

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 07:02 - United Kingdom

People have lists?!

Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1639

You deserved it

180

Favorite

By Fire_Crotch - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8834

You deserved it

48572

Favorite

By alipallie - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39042

You deserved it

7032

Favorite

By jalapenos99 - United States

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33522

You deserved it

54733

Favorite

By metalflower01 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my wedding. On top of being upset about the break up, I was informed I owed a $900 cancellation fee for not using the venue. Single and broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37078

You deserved it

4025

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

I agree, your life sucks

23983

You deserved it

2020

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1874

You deserved it

265

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my first day at my new job, a guy decided to pay all his parking fines in one go. All £2300 of them. Yes, he did decide to pay it in pennies. Wheelbarrows and buckets full of pennies. That's 230,000 pennies. Guess whose job it was to count them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3229

You deserved it

353

Favorite

By mnote - United States - Sapulpa

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34239

You deserved it

2900

Favorite

By parentalnightmare - United States - Laurel

Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21883

You deserved it

1383

Favorite

By sucksforme - United States

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42466

You deserved it

3503

Favorite

By Medfail - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7628

You deserved it

13553

Favorite

By emasculated 10000% - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks

55690

You deserved it

7782

Favorite

By confused - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35276

You deserved it

25865

Favorite

By TotallyDeservedIt - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8043

You deserved it

12773

Favorite

By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29562

You deserved it

5766

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39619

You deserved it

5576

Favorite

By ClothesHorse - United States - Houston

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26592

You deserved it

5421

Favorite

By ohtheirony

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35638

You deserved it

2771

Favorite

By Unfortunately Me - United States - San Jose

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43030

You deserved it

12037

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37421

You deserved it

3658

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39586

You deserved it

24218

Favorite

By Applelover012 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks

92226

You deserved it

8428

Favorite

By carsuck - United States

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29276

You deserved it

4137

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40958

You deserved it

8970

Favorite

By thepokemonkid - United States - Avon

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32228

You deserved it

4121

Favorite

By Abby_gummibear - United States

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

43661

You deserved it

7741

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I returned from vacation overseas to find I'd lost my job. The manager approved my leave, but forgot to put it in the system, so I was written up repeatedly for not showing up. If I want my job back, I have to wait 90 days and apply to start over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2574

You deserved it

149

Favorite

By Oriianna Raiinbow - United States

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58679

You deserved it

4540

Favorite

By stupidpolicia - Brazil

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43706

You deserved it

3316

Favorite

By soapysoap - United States

Today, I received an early Christmas gift from my boyfriend of ten months. It was soap. In a few days he will be receiving his very expensive specialized car horn he has wanted for years, while I will be enjoying my new bar of Walmart brand soap, which has already begun to give me a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36747

You deserved it

4910

Favorite

By verbaltodomestic - United States - La Crosse

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21885

You deserved it

110891

Favorite

By kitty - Australia

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29748

You deserved it

2990

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36475

You deserved it

13093

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Mountain Home

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20200

You deserved it

147393

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Ipswich

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11336

You deserved it

25637

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I asked my niece to house-sit because she acts very mature and sensible while her brother is an idle slob. Turns out the idle slob nephew is the mature one while the sensible niece actually likes to throw house parties. I found a used condom stuck to my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3128

You deserved it

889

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Dave_Davington | 33

#5510313 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:34

Bromance?

By perdix | 29

#5510365 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:08

Bra, bra
Ma, ma, ma
Gaga, ooh la la.

You and me could write a rad bromance.

COMMENTS

By Dave_Davington | 33

#5510313 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:34

Bromance?

LeonnJ | 13

#5510321 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:39

A pretty weird bromance

perdix | 29

#5510365 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:08

Bra, bra
Ma, ma, ma
Gaga, ooh la la.

You and me could write a rad bromance.

NeatNit | 32

#5510366 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:09

#21 what are you on

perdix | 29

#5510373 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:15

#22, Sudafed, ibuprofen and Tylenol.

You've never heard Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance?"

greenmen | 12

#5510425 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 13:02

He is so romantic

Ambient25 | 24

#5510447 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 13:25

*bromantic

Grex_fml | 9

#5510538 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 15:51

"Haaaay waddup?"

HKCgrimmjow | 15

#5510597 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 17:14

You know their a good friend when they don't judge you, you know their a great friend when they help support you!

twaumat | 28

#5510631 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 18:31

they're*, or they are*.

HKCgrimmjow | 15

#5510919 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 23:20

Yes my bad, your right ;) (I did it on purpose!)

tjv3 | 10

#5511175 - Wednesday 29 May 2013 2:42

Umm hopefully as a joke or this could get awkward fast

botanistjessica | 24

#5511248 - Wednesday 29 May 2013 4:00

So I'm guessing "your right" instead of "you're right" was on purpose too?

By xALEXx_fml | 15

#5510315 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:35

Kinda deserve that one but your life kinda sucks!

Caitie_kid | 8

#5510398 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:33

Meh. He was probably joking.

fareith | 15

#5510560 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:14

"Kinda" sucks? Are you implying that he's "kinda" gay?

MrBean1561 | 5

#5510576 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:37

You're an idiot!

dakatabg | 31

#5510676 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 19:45

Here starts the fun

ROSI3TH3CAT | 18

#5510731 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 21:33

Well, kinda.

By masterofflight | 8

#5510316 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:35

well...at least he got lucky...

By 8eight8 | 14

#5510318 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:37

that's hilarious!

By Hollandiscrazy | 12

#5510319 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:38

"Best friend" just got a whole new meaning.

Somefruits | 24

#5510429 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 13:03

Best friend with benefits!

perdix | 29

#5510577 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:38

*hole new meaning,

YWIA.

By MrClean17 | 15

#5510320 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:38

Ive never personally done it but that sounds like a perfect example of how you know you two are friends

YeahYeahYeahOK | 6

#5510432 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 13:08

Yup, shit happens!

Horsempeg | 25

#5510490 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 14:46

Right, be happy he took the joke!

By Summoner_T3L | 15

#5510323 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:39

Maybe your friend is into you or maybe he's joking around. but YDI for not Quadra-Checking who you sent that to.

perdix | 29

#5510356 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 12:00

Is that the OCD version of double-checking?

mattlw | 25

#5510471 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 14:12

Nah, that would be octochecking.

Whiskey team, on me.

By Bluu67 | 3

#5510327 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:42

That's cute...

andy1500726 | 19

#5511337 - Wednesday 29 May 2013 5:05

that's cute. lol

By bballer4life895 | 13

#5510343 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:52

I have a feeling you guys are going to be so much closer now.

AthiestNun | 11

#5510583 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 16:46

"I got your back bro."

By Ariet | 20

#5510347 - Tuesday 28 May 2013 11:54

Hahahaha! Wanky ;)