Unreasonable

Today, after finishing work and collecting my bag from my locker, I yawned as my manager came to ask me a question. She yelled at me for yawning. She then told others that I have a chronic yawning problem at work and need medical intervention. I can't even yawn once after a long tiring day on my own time. FML

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

Today, my older, temporary coworker comments every time I yawn, sneeze, cough, leave my desk to use the restroom, and on what I eat at lunch, laughing the whole time. It’s driving me crazy. Only 8 more weeks. FML

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

A-hole

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

All you need is hate

Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I can't take it anymore

Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML

Respect the dead

Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML