Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
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Top comments
ruabadfishtoo 0
Well, at least your neighbours were humorous about it. Still, invest in soundproof walls.
KingDingALing 9
Toss him a packet of Viagra and say "Now you can re-live those days."
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Comments (89)
DocBastard 40
The joke is on you - his wife's name isn't Carol. I bet she beat the shit out of him when they got home.
rdemos 10
Maybe one of the people who used to live there before the couple does, was named carol
amandajlucas2015 2
Lol this would really be an FML if the couple supposedly making all this noise hadn't had sex in months
sbstar2017 8
Awkward O.o
ilovefall10 21
What a cool old couple!
perdix 31
Wifeswap!!!! Doesn't Carol deserve another chance to make those sounds for old times' sake?
BlowinChronic 18
They can hear you from their house? Don't worry about it, if she's that loud then you're doing it right.
s810s_waitin 1
Or she's faking it.... Which is probably much more likely.
MuldRAR 6
Just because they said they could hear it doesn't mean they were complaining, keep up the good work OP ;D
TrollingStalker 16
Only in Michigan..
Welshite 40
Yes, because only people in Michigan have sex. I'm a bit confused at to what the rest of us are doing, though, if we apparently don't participate in intercourse.
Enslaved 38
I guess voyeurism comes in all forms. :P
perdix 31
The old people are engaging in "auditeurism." These people drive the phone sex conference call industry!
ksks1234 33
I think that old man sounds adorable. OP, take it as a sign that you will have a marriage like theirs; long, happy, and full of great sex.
swedeNix 13
Those Are you from the future:)