Sex, Weird, Wanker and Intimacy: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 295

You deserved it 7 642

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 653

You deserved it 3 169

By ac13 - 27/06/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 017

You deserved it 3 787

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 342

You deserved it 8 185

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 827

You deserved it 11 021

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 806

You deserved it 4 629

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 016

You deserved it 4 855

BFF

By imabadperson - 06/03/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 522

You deserved it 44 528

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 239

You deserved it 6 998

By Maria39018 - 01/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 481

You deserved it 13 689

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 683

You deserved it 206

Aldrasio 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.

rockandrollbf 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.

Comments

Jordn_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:13

I agree with #1. I think he was just playing the pity card, making you realize how "sensitive he is".

kitkatkelly 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:16

Poor you AND poor him... hope he gets better.

greenman_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:17

a little road head will go a long way. maybe he will forget about masturbation for a little while, or while you're performing said action, he'll run the car into a tree and you'll accidentally bite off his dick. either way works

breaksprinter_ 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:18

I don't understand why this is an FML? I don't think that is a bad thing.

sammmii92 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:19

oh wow. how much detail can there be to tell? wait nvm....

yeahreally 6

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:20

lol im surprised he didnt pull over and do it right then and there

Frlf 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:22

I lol'd. At least he was honest.

Vehicle 1

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:29

It's nice that he trusts you about something like that. But if he literally talked about that for 2 hours...something's wrong. o.O Just stay alert with this relationship.

c0w 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:32

More like a FHL, since he doesn't have a girlfriend who's willing to sit and listen to him spill his guts and talk about his problems. If it bothered you that much, you should have said something instead of whining to the internet.