Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Timing is everything - FML

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 967

You deserved it 3 400

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 190

You deserved it 2 618

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 445

You deserved it 7 685

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 774

You deserved it 3 777

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 218

You deserved it 5 168

By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 2 879

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 644

You deserved it 2 344

By Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 186

You deserved it 4 361

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 761

You deserved it 4 087

No thanks

By SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 2 250

Next

Top comments

ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Comments

spankymrd 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 14:38

You should evaluate before you ejacalate

C130chief 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 15:22

Real question is did you finish?

Cablo_Gubla 2

Tuesday 31 January 2012 19:59

Have some self-respect and lose the dame.

LangleyBoi 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 23:51

That bitch is fuckedd!

pixie0918 0

Saturday 4 February 2012 5:23

O my God stop with the Joe dirt we get it .you all love that part in the movie .now I hope you dumped the bitch after you finished.

iDoubtWhales 7

Monday 6 February 2012 5:44

Noo not the friend zone!

iamkeysersoze_fml 5

Wednesday 8 February 2012 7:07

I'm blue da ba dee da ba diiii....

TheSetucker 2

Saturday 18 February 2012 6:59

Well that was a bit unexpected eh?

76transam 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 18:05

Gf: uh uh i got somethin to tell u babe...uuhh Bf: oooohhh yea yea? Gf: yea yea! I think of uh uh you as more of a .. aaahh a brother no dont stop bro... Bf: ok sis! Gf: like a little brother! Bf: ok that does it! I need my laptop!

zstan1207 3

Tuesday 21 February 2012 6:55

Dont you think thats something you should've asked before "getting intimate"?

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The Top

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 30 075

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 271

You deserved it 19 597

The Top

Hang on for dear life!

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 180

Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 285

You deserved it 1 745

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 3 743

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 223

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 107

You deserved it 6 421

Today, I've lied about my grades for three years of high school already and my mom thinks I'm a straight A student. I'm supposed to be going to college in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 1 604