Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
Tell him to wash his hands *with soap* from now on or he's never touching you again.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a ... ... wait on it ... ... shitty situation! Yeeeeeoooowww!!!!!
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a ... ... wait on it ... ... shitty situation! Yeeeeeoooowww!!!!!
Hangryko 32
Tell him to wash his hands *with soap* from now on or he's never touching you again.