Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML
Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Today, I finally got together with this great guy I've had a crush on for a while. He told me before that he is quite inexperienced, which usually doesn't bother me at all. Turns out "inexperienced" translates to "I will include your nose and chin in our kissing" in this case. FML
Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML
Today, I finally managed to kiss the guy of my dreams. We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, and he softly said, "You know I'm dating another girl right now, right?" FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rexdraco 4
So then teach him to do it properly... practice makes perfect.
bobsanction 18
So teach him to be better. Duh.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (12)
user53658 15
That's passion. I thought you wanted more passion in your life?
rexdraco 4
So then teach him to do it properly... practice makes perfect.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Tell him he sucks (literally) at this, teach him how to do it right, and offer to give him plenty of practice.
ojosRojos 28
Don’t give up on him! Sometimes it takes a little while to get into the right groove with someone new. I hope it gets better soon!
bobsanction 18
So teach him to be better. Duh.
kirby1964 20
Teach him how girl. Don’t let one kiss kill the mood. Tell him. He will thank you.
Sady_Ct 38
I have found that I have had to teach pretty much every guy I have dated how to kiss properly, otherwise I feel as tho they are trying to either eat my face or suck out my soul like poor OP here. Don’t give up, different people like to kiss differently, keep at it and you will find your rhythm and it will get better. Wait till you start having sex, that will also take some time to catch each other’s rhythm. When I started dating my now husband, he was a terrible kisser, but I loved him enough to get past that, and fell deeper in love, then when we finally had sex I though ‘wow this is shit I hope it gets better’. A month later it was still the worst sex ever and rather than ditching the guy because the sex was so bad it was making me depressed, I sat him down and we talked and damn was it worth it! Now he’s a great kisser, amazing in bed, our communication rocks and we are super close and very much in love.
Memnoc 26
That's why communication is so important in any relationship.
Dthsapprntc 23
I wonder if the guy thinks OP is a bad kisser too, but doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to hurt her and ruin the relationship.
LoudStar86 14
So you’re dating a Dementor?
mssileas 25
This gave me horrible flashbacks to my first boyfriend, who for whatever reason thought it'd be sexy to suck on my tongue.... I still shudder and get nauseous thinking of all the cold saliva involved in that move, and it's been 14 years. Anyway, tell him less is more if you can still move past it, and be firm about it. No one's perfect in the beginning and he's not a mind reader, pretty sure he'd like to make this mutually enjoyable.