This doesn't feel nice
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Rangant 7
you mean there's a different way?? I just can't keep up with all these new trends :S
Draminicaus 0
There is such a thing as constructive criticism. Wait until a time when sex isn't on the brain and then start a conversation about things that do and don't turn each other on. In a very nice way, explain to him that kissing like the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-man just doesn't do it for you and politely give him pointers. His ego might be hurt a little bit by it, so try to keep it as caring and considerate as possible. Keywords: NICELY, POLITELY, CONSIDERATE, PENGUIN
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Comments (154)
charisorama 0
eww I got off with a guy like that before ! get rid of him , it's gross !
stayc0103 0
really ima need the 14 yr olds to get off of fml please! I don't understand how anyone would date someone without kissing them first...unless you are inexperienced and like 14....this is not a f Your life....more like fml for having to read it!! YDI!!
Nerry_fml 0
again. not every girl is a **** =]
stayc0103 0
for # 35 and 37 no I didn't say that I was saying that this site isn't for 14yr olds. also im guessing if you are referring to me being a **** then you guys really must not have a sex life or maybe you are just as young as the op! please grow up before replying again thanks! :)
hlkwd1 0
darling sort your life out. you were clearly brought up pretty bad if you think you should get with a guy before going out with him, and I'm not 14, I'm 18.
allmidnighteyes 11
Hey, Stacy, you should check to see if you're eligible for Social Security Disability, because I'm sure you'd be eligible to receive it on the basis that you're most likely legitimately retarded.
stayc0103 0
really kaysl....I was obviously stating that the other 2 comments had not gotten my point in the first place, but since you like to but in and act ignorant and be a smart ass I guess I should go ahead and reply. Next time please read the statement and fully understand it before running your mouth kaysl. Thanks!
stayc0103 0
#47 and 49 I guess you haven't read any of the other comments left by other people. Everyone in their right mind are saying that you should atleast kiss someone before calling them their bf/gf. Iam guessing maybe you 2 and the others that commented must be internet nerds that don't get out much so maybe you would go for the whole "virgin" aspects calling someone your bf/gf before even receiving any kind of personal touch...including a simple hug. Or maybe you only have online bf's/gf's...get a life please!
allmidnighteyes 11
I'm sorry I don't feel the need to shove my tongue down a person's throat for 5 minutes before I date them. I'm sorry someone put Elmer's Glue in your milk bottle as a child.
Draminicaus 0
if someone needs to make out with someone else before they date to be over the age of 14, then I must be the world's only 13-yr old 20-yr old. Just because you've never felt the need be a lady doesn't mean you should judge the girls that do.
stayc0103 0
lmao!!! #60 your profile says it all. im done proving my point...cuz you just did it for me! and yes kaysl I love having the last word and I did say that shit about you! DEAL WITH IT! I have wasted enough of my precious life just commenting back to you losers. DONE!
allmidnighteyes 11
I think those are supposed to be words, but all I read was herrrrpa derrrrpa derrrrp
allmidnighteyes 11
Life is only precious when you're doing something with it, and I don't think jamming your tongue down random guys' throats counts as doing something with your life. I don't know how you made it to 23 without wandering out onto a busy highway to get to some guy on the other side.
The_Fonz_fml 0
yes, 35 must be 14 cause every 14 year old in my town has tattoos like that.
stayc0103 0
really mods! dang!
stayc0103 0
lol! #60 your profile says it all! im done!
DocBastard 40
Alas poor stayc. I knew her, Horatio. Midnight and Ayame, nicely done. KaySL, you showed excellent restraint in not tearing her throat out. I'm sorry I missed all of that.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
I agree with Stacy, how could u refer to someone a bf/gf if you've never even kissed them (a peck doesn't count). Stacy wasn't saying that u have to sleep with em before you're a couple so y is everyone over-reacting
Cinn_fml 23
Most people don't view kissing and making out as exactly the same thing. Especially as kisses can just be a simple peck or polite kiss, whereas making out tends to be a bit more involved, sometimes with some hand action too. Depends on the person as to how they define it exactly, but I would say the latter tends not to be done before you decide that person is your bf/gf.
randall_doak 4
See, why can't more people be like Cinn? She is the one that actually knows what the hell she is talking about, and can make a statement without getting all bitchy, and crying about a pointless internet blog.... Really everyone that has commented so far besides Cinn needs to grow the hell up!
jojobeanz 0
practice makes perfect:)
shorty17 0
like…seriously. this is NOT a fml.
allmidnighteyes 11
Are you dating Gene Simmons?
stronghand0331 17
Gene's tongue goes through their entire body. It'd definitely get caught near the gallbladder though. That's a tricky part of the body
muffpuncher 0
give him your idea of a hand job and clap your hands on his twig and berries.
mona_is_here 10
You know you're a bad kisser when...
teddygraham1 1
.....your gf posts it on FML!
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
... your mouth is compared to that of a reptile
MaraMacK 0
ooh... guess he's a keeper! :)
brewi 0
forked tongues are sexy.
peachezthelette 22
Wow and I thought I wud be bad the first time..... o.O