Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Rangant 7
you mean there's a different way?? I just can't keep up with all these new trends :S
Draminicaus 0
There is such a thing as constructive criticism. Wait until a time when sex isn't on the brain and then start a conversation about things that do and don't turn each other on. In a very nice way, explain to him that kissing like the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-man just doesn't do it for you and politely give him pointers. His ego might be hurt a little bit by it, so try to keep it as caring and considerate as possible. Keywords: NICELY, POLITELY, CONSIDERATE, PENGUIN
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Comments (154)
TheWhiteBunny 3
Damn the Gieco gecko gets more action than me.
ninjasaurous 0
Mouth *******. Duh! In and out, in and out.
GoodLookingGeese 10
great 4 u, just use it downstairs.. gee
mexipunker 0
I am the lizard king, I can do anything.
Sorrows 5
Weooo, slurpee time ..
nerdsgetmehot 23
Oy. How old is he? And has he kissed anyone before he kissed you? If he hasn't, then it's not surprising. Some (okay, probably most) people just don't have a clue how to kiss "properly" (i.e., not all slobbery and lizard-like) if they've never kissed anyone before. Try teaching him how you like to be kissed. If you keep this to yourself and don't (gently) point out that his kissing skills are lacking, then he won't get better.
808ALiSA808 0
Same went foa me! Im not used to it, its different da way my boifren does it from otha guys in da past, but I guess I can learn to love it
dylanjackson130 0
euhhh my ex gf used to do that it turnes me off horribely
bradlyl 0
Lizards don't move their tongues unless they are eating, drinking, or cleaning themselves. your thinking about a snake. Fail.
nidawi 0
I think she was referring to his tongue AS the lizard.
ComaStance 0
haha that's wicked funny