Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Rangant 7
you mean there's a different way?? I just can't keep up with all these new trends :S
Draminicaus 0
There is such a thing as constructive criticism. Wait until a time when sex isn't on the brain and then start a conversation about things that do and don't turn each other on. In a very nice way, explain to him that kissing like the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-man just doesn't do it for you and politely give him pointers. His ego might be hurt a little bit by it, so try to keep it as caring and considerate as possible. Keywords: NICELY, POLITELY, CONSIDERATE, PENGUIN
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Comments (154)
savvy_suzy 0
Dump him. Life is too short to kiss lizards.
reagancrownover 0
hahaha OMG
sxm 13
right ******* onnnn. that's too amazing.
ZavysWonderland 3
I know exactly how that is -_- it suckzz
colombiancartel 0
I'll teach him,if he gets lost in my warp hole i do apolagize in advance.
zodak 0
he likes to get freaky lol
winterale29 0
well.. SUCKS
kitkatmiaow 21
bahahahahahaaaa!!! i went out with a guy who did that once... sadly he didn't get any better even though I tried to encourage him to alter his 'technique'! ): Good luck withthat one!!! (:
Aniblecoby 0
are you sure he isn't one?
Kaner195 0
Totally sucks