Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Rangant 7
you mean there's a different way?? I just can't keep up with all these new trends :S
Draminicaus 0
There is such a thing as constructive criticism. Wait until a time when sex isn't on the brain and then start a conversation about things that do and don't turn each other on. In a very nice way, explain to him that kissing like the wacky-waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-man just doesn't do it for you and politely give him pointers. His ego might be hurt a little bit by it, so try to keep it as caring and considerate as possible. Keywords: NICELY, POLITELY, CONSIDERATE, PENGUIN
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Comments (154)
dodgewama 0
Penguin ?!
xStiina 0
haha, that's hot.
knibbsy 4
Yeah, that's why geese fly south for the winter.
docscientist 10
He...flicks around? Just reposition him southerly next time.
LFAM_fml 0
The Guy. Is He French?
fuggles 0
rofl I've yet to kiss my girlfriend its prob getting close to time
starile 20
wat How old are you, 11?
heatherlorinxox 0
you don't always have to kiss on the first date. you can be 20 and still wait to kiss your gf/bf for the first time
nowthenagain10 8
Do you purposely try to look like a **** in your picture?
daleftw 0
Hey, I'll make out with you real good if your boyfriend just isn't cutting it. as long as you're over the age of 16. lolol
stayc0103 0
^ lol she probably isn't and that's the problem in the first place!
2gether4ever 0
just stop his tounge by sucking on it when you make out.
coco9875 0
lmao that made me laugh ^
goodlike_fml 0
did he fire his lezard? for the ppl who know what that mean
canadapresch 0
You spelled lizard wrong..
iHateThisLife 10
always room for improvement
iheartglasses 0
Um wow.. I thought most people had their first kisses during the first year(s) of high school. I dont favor kissing but I dont know how someone can continue to date a bad kisser lol
randall_doak 4
Because not everyone is as shallow as you... Remember, talking to each other about issues can fix them in most cases, as opposed to just dumping some one because they aren't that good at kissing. You're retarded.
amerwin 3
You know who to call next time you have an insect problem in the house.
MaraMacK 0
but lizards aren't insects, right? :)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Lizards EAT insects...
MaraMacK 0
oh! hahaha well thank you:)