Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML
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Top comments
freaky922 0
Taking care of her "pussy", if you will...
tehukiso 0
This is totally irrelevant (mostly) but as soon as I read cat, and Tom, I thought of Tom and Jerry and started to miss weekend morning cartoons :(
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Comments (93)
Jessticle85 0
wtf kinda cat needs to be taken care of every night. u shoulda knew something was up. but she's still a total slutbitch
bored690 0
Maybe you're just clingy and she hates it so she has sex with other people
DynamicDave 11
Well, she kinda was "taking care of" her "cat"....
MissT2608 0
Exactly.
Lx416 0
lmao that's funny actually how you just said pet instead of like a boyfriend or girlfriend -Ł
ladyreal420 3
wow ***** girlfriend.. look dumb her have sex with her friend then find a good lady who will have you back and not cheat. unless ur a cheater then u deserved it
kleopath 11
"an euphemism"?
ak47ak 2
poor guy
Malihax 3
That's so wrong ! :/
catanita 18
In fact she was taking care of her pussy-cat.