Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML
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Top comments
freaky922 0
Taking care of her "pussy", if you will...
tehukiso 0
This is totally irrelevant (mostly) but as soon as I read cat, and Tom, I thought of Tom and Jerry and started to miss weekend morning cartoons :(
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Comments (93)
Plastic_Stitchez 25
Take care of her cat = take care of her pussy = fcking Tom
Deidaraa 4
I don't want to be "that guy" but it's a euphemism not an euphemism
saymynamess 19
Well, you need to do more work so that she wont seek something from outside
IGiveNoFucks760 2
You need to learn how to not be a ****, or man ***** depending on your gender.