Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML
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Top comments
freaky922 0
Taking care of her "pussy", if you will...
tehukiso 0
This is totally irrelevant (mostly) but as soon as I read cat, and Tom, I thought of Tom and Jerry and started to miss weekend morning cartoons :(
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Comments (93)
the_deuce 0
what a *****.
Paigggee 0
******* need love too!
skatergirl21 2
That sucks but mabe you guys can have a 3 way
jimjones_fml 0
my names tom.....uh oh
shad0wpuppetz 0
Well, on one hand, she wasn't -technically- lying to you when she said she had to take care of the cat. But on the other hand, that sucks, dumb her slutty, cheating ass.
plexico 4
She's taking care of her Tomcat, so she is really telling the truth. If she's taking care of you first before she goes home and gives Tom sloppy seconds, what do you care? Didn't they teach you to share in kindergarten?
caancoha 0
Wow, 15. Good job. It's funny because before me only one person made the connection, douche.
WeedWoman 0
well some people like momogamy. and dude...ouch..what a slooooott start getting oer it by looking at sexy stoner chicks! GIMME YO VOTES ME for Miss High Times 2010!! http://misshightimes.com/users/weedwoman
Intoxicunt 6
Nice pics.
plexico 4
Yeah, especially the one where you have your lips wrapped around that bong. That one gave me ideas, mostly because my penis is named Bing*. *Not really, but that would be better than Squirtle or Little Baby Carrot.
WeedWoman 0
well some people like momogamy. and dude...ouch..what a slooooott start getting oer it by looking at sexy stoner chicks! GIMME YO VOTES ME for Miss High Times 2010!! http://misshightimes.com/users/weedwoman
BrownEyedNinja 0
i think the word is monogamy. mono as in one
Inked2009 0
Cats do hide not always out in the open