Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon, I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
Today, I'd finished cleaning the interior of my vehicle, but seconds later, a stray cat jumped in through the other opened door, and took a dump right in the center of the mat inside. FML
Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, I took my car to the automatic wash for the first time in years. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to remember to close the sunroof. I now own a freshly-cleaned car interior, soaked seats, and one very wet, traumatized dog. FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
LMAO!! Well, at least you didn't leave your windows open :D ....or did you?
GlassJAwkidE 3
oh boy hahaha.
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Comments (64)
beaverdogmouse 0
YDI for having a garage
softballplaya822 0
haha that's disgusting... at least it didn't get on the inside of your car... that's always the hardest part to clean
easylazy 0
YDI for being a douche to animals
Colby_Colbert 0
perineum - look it up peeps
lostmymind16 0
now you are aware that the bird is the word.
FMLwin 1
Your username is amazing.
TryToBeKind 0
Ug! That sucks! I think birds just enjoy ******** on newly cleaned cars. At least they didn't poop on he inside?
Nick_726 0
Oh that sucks, ale thing happened to me pretty much...I spent like four hours cleaning my car and right as I finished it started to rain and my car was parked under tree and the next morning my car was covered in pollen and other shit. So I feel for ya
happygoluckyhh 0
It's one freakin splatter of poop. Wipe it off, dumbass. Common sense isn't brain surgery.
ledzeplover 0
I'm with #31. Who the hell spends 4 hours cleaning their car? you need a life my friend. YDI.