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I understood that OP probably has no friends to ride shotgun, but my first thought was still "time to get out the napkins and clean that shit"

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#12, I know, Alan! Clearly, the point of the story is the OP is raising spiders and doesn't have cobwebs on his driver's-side door, which is cutting his spider range in half. It's so obvious.

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Wiping off the cobwebs are certainly easy enough but I get the notion that the cobwebs also represent the OP's loneliness. Maybe I'm reading far more into it...

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