Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML
Today, I was told I'm lazy by my boyfriend because I skipped work. He skips his all the time and when I get home still have to cook and clean up after him. FML
Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML
Today, my physician, a known drunk himself, told me I was drinking too much and I should quit before my kidneys decide to divorce me and take the house and car with them. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML
Today, after I finally recovering from being ill, my husband complained about the house being messy, that I needed to clean up after myself. I filled 2 large tote bags with his stuff laying around the house, and one small stack of medical bills for me. It took me hours to clean. But I'm the messy one. FML
Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML
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Top comments
TonyGoCapitals 0
Wow what an asshole no prune intended
SkoomaKi 28
Put Viagra in that prune juice and see who's laughing.
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Comments (97)
missunderstanded 5
that's a shitty situation.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Don't make the same mistake that I did! Run while you can. The lynch mob is coming after your comment.
KiddNYC1O 22
You can run but you can't hide. Everyone's gotten raped or lynched on here.
Bluekaren16 19
I think she was asking for it. Now i just want to be a troll and post unoriginal comments just to piss the FML community. Or I shall do something useful with my time? Hmmm
RaggleFrock 13
Spike him with imodium and make him constipated.
Dixbfloppin 11
Good idea, but I think that would only make the patient tell OP to "get off her ass and find the prune juice".
sonicgreg 12
YDI for being a home health helper. Wiping asses for money...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Well, it's better to have a job that "wipes asses for money" than to be unemployed.
perdix 31
I don't charge. I just do it for the ***** and giggles.
Herculesninja27 5
Well you know what they say when you gotta go you gotta go.... But with all that juice it must be some hardcore wiping...
totheforest84 4
Call in "I quit" one morning and let his ungrateful ass roll around in it for a day.
Michael_92 20
You need to work harder? That's just uncool. ALL the people I know in the medical field work very hard for their money. It is IMO one of the hardest set of jobs out there.
EpicFail1520 16
That's about the time I get a new job...
msjoyfull84 0
That's awesome, lmfao!
pexy_fml 16
Replace his juice with detergents