Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I was making a TikTok in the bathroom mirror. Right as I was finishing up, my little brother burst in, shouted, "That's going on YouTube!" and ran off. Guess what he did five minutes later? FML.
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
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Top comments
davidjr_saldana 0
most awesome kid ever!
Lolzords 11
Throw your brother down the stairs and say he got tumblred.
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Comments (224)
ILoveEggnog 7
True that.
shaaayyee 0
your brother is a total win.
Poetic_hybrid 0
That's hilarious...I'm going to use that one. The bloody nose was extra but still very funny.
Deverz 10
lol awesome joke
il_bastardo 0
Best. Brother. Ever.
denlillakotten 4
Funniest thing I have heard all day! Sounds like something my brother would do, he's old though...
leerdz23 0
hahahahahaha omg I ****** love this (: I'm gna try it on one of my brothers.
XtremeWonders 0
I wish my bro was this funy.
Jester7 0
****** awesome!
itsssarahjane 0
hahaha!! what a clever little boy!!