Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
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Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
toelie 26
So, does it?
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Comments (225)
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, YDI. The best part? You openly stating that his act is the 'most romantic thing he's ever done', while citing his reference to the taste of his semen being the reasoning for doing it. Which we can then infer means you've been getting samples for some time from this highly romantic individual. So essentially, you'll be switching from d-bag semen lite, to d-bag enriched semen. I'm thinking... and I'm no logistics expert, but I'm thinking the problem... lies with your semen source. It needs less d-bag. Maybe you should pursue love interests whose sole considerations *aren't* padding their ******* portfolio's securities.
soldier3454 2
And your life is ****** how now?
MasterJMan 0
How nice!
jeepy_fml 4
lol he should get himself fresh fruits instead of cans as cans means preservatives
techno4life 0
How is this FML?
sbell84 5
you deserve it for living in az,the men here all treat there woman like shit but as long as mexican lifestyle rule here you will have horrible problems with men.i recently took a girl to olive garden and she told me this was the first time a man had brought her in public.and she has had dozens of boyfriends.most just got dollar menu at the drive thru
Lemonkiss 0
God. My boyfriend did that too -_-
Euronymous93 29
Mine does that. I really appreciate when he does. He tastes 100 times better than when he doesn't eat fruit.
elizabethan13 0
I can relate..
Cmcnab1997 0
Tastey
Fylminesawsome 5
Women are never happy