Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
toelie 26
So, does it?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (225)
bubo_fml 11
Say, "I've been thinking of you too!" & crack open a can of tuna fish...
jessesgirl14 16
Pineapples! Tell him to eat lots of pineapples! And steer clear of asparagus!!!
whikat 0
That's not even true. WTF!
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
damn woman... u have low expectations and I'd like to know if you have a sister???
GiantEvilCookie 6
Aww, that actually is pretty romantic. He's going to need more than just a can, though.
steffielynn 0
Thats really sweet. Why are you complaining?
vivace9259 4
And I bet you he feels SO accomplished right now.
ACandelaria_209 1
Time for a new one if that's the sweetest thing he's ever done..
pip74205 9
When you women say stuff like that (The most/One of the most romantic things he's done) I have to ask myself, WHY THE HELL DO YOU DATE SUCH WORTHLESS ASSHOLES!?
l3rett 1
Not ever fruit does that, tell him to buy pineapple and celery and stay away from coffee and alcohol