Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me poetry. Here's how it went: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your tits." That's the most romantic thing he's done for me. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML
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Top comments
360XBOXFTW 0
How sweet of him :)
toelie 26
So, does it?
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Comments (225)
1966mustanggt350 4
thats cool
brunettegurly 0
gotta love fruity sperm
urkiddingright 3
what will it take for you to dump him?
HomeAl0ne 20
Romance? That's not romance! To impress my ladies I eat 6 boxes of Skittles and chase it down with a large jug of prune juice. Nothing says "I love you" like surprising her by farting out a rainbow.
mars1505 4
how did he "find out" it made the taste better?
rockmehard 4
Wow. That's really sad that that's the most romantic thing he's ever done. Very sad.
workaholik 0
I can count on one had how many times I've gone in my wife's mouth. We've been married for 7 years. I make sure to keep "it" cleaned and washed and eat fruit like crazy just for the simple chance she'll do it again...
modghaith 0
lucky girl
yankfan89 27
Why are you still with him?
soldier3454 2
and your life is ****** how?