Miscellaneous: Take the W - FML

Take the W

By FML - 18/01/2012 19:41 - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 4 773

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Same thing different taste

Doggy dog world

By Whatever - 24/09/2021 08:00

Today, my self-esteem has gotten so low that when I was out walking my boss's dog and someone called out, "Beautiful!" I assumed they were talking about the dog. They had to clarify they were speaking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 157

By Jill - 25/02/2010 01:26 - France

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 655

You deserved it 4 503

It's the thought that counts

By no good deed - 23/07/2020 20:02

Today, I was feeling pretty down due to a recent back injury, so I thought I’d do something nice to help lift my spirits. I bought some cookies for my coworkers, who ended up not wanting any, and one of them decided to ask what was wrong with my face. Oh, right, my acne rosacea is flaring too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 232

Bad omen

By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 484

You deserved it 4 951

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 626

You deserved it 3 529

By ugly duckling - 06/08/2015 19:18 - United States - Reston

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 3 150

Thanks

By lucy_g - 02/11/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 143

You deserved it 7 297

By cookiecutter8 - 06/11/2015 17:15 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 229

You deserved it 1 686

By joking0303 - 16/07/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 130

You deserved it 6 461

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anja - 03/02/2021 03:30

Today, I was having a horrible day and messaged a friend to vent. She replied with, "Eat a cookie" and proceeded to send me a picture with a "motivational" quote from her buddhistic spiritual leader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 241

Next

Top comments

Outsider_77 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:27

Not everyone can be a winner. Feel honored.

Glitterhinoceros 14

Thursday 19 January 2012 0:31

Buy a lifetime supply of fortune cookies, so whenever you're feeling sad, you get a compliment and a cookie c:

Comments

daniel1991 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:21

Get into a sport...they help out with that

EduJav321 24

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:30

Beats the "help, Im trapped in a fortune cookie factory!" cookie

fuzzywolf 8

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:32

At first I misread this as "you have the attitude of a wiener", would've been so much better XD

nabila21 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:59

U do know they come true right? It's been proved twice.

Raesin 21

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:38

No they don't and no it hasn't. It's like Tarot cards, you just link things in your life to things that have happened or do happen to the card/fortune, however bizarre. It had nothing to do with some printed text on a bit of card or paper in a biscuit.

Honestly_Lainey 21

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:27

I once got a fortune cookie that said "you love Chinese food"

The_Great_Bevis 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:45

It's ok you need to get your self esteem up and if a cookie helps so be it

purpleisbloo 13

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:06

Once, I got a fortune that said: "You will soon enjoy a small fortune." Then I realized I was eating a delicious fortune cookie. Darn.

divine69 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:26

Not with that attitude

BlueHue 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 13:41

Compliments are always nice to get :)

leafsrbest 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 18:19

I used to have low self esteem. Then I took an arrow to the knee

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Keywords

Work Mental health Students Relatable Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Intimacy Wanker Family First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Transportation Cars Cops Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, I went out with my best girl friend to spice up my wardrobe. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, who was constantly flip-flopping from being in love with me to being apathetic towards me. After having a great day, on the way home, my ex pulled up next to our car and I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 318

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 701

The Top

Today, my mother, who has no life of her own, barged into my house and demanded to know why we hadn’t had kids yet after 6 months of marriage. She then hoovered the living room for a while, even though I did it yesterday, and only left after criticising my wife’s makeup and body weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 034

You deserved it 496

Today, I caught my husband's crazy aunt attempting to steal from my daughter's piggy bank. When I confronted her, she tried to defend herself by saying, "She's 2 months-old, she doesn't need the money!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 129

You deserved it 253

Today, I was sent home from work because my new haircut "looks too much like Hitler's" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 000

You deserved it 753

Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 700

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 704

You deserved it 1 849

Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 735

You deserved it 1 240