Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, ever since he got out of jail, my brother thinks it's hilarious to use the skills other inmates taught him to break into my house, setting up pranks, or watching tv and waiting for me to get home. It's mostly harmless, but it is still majorly pissing me off. Should I call the cops if he continues? FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put his dog shock collar on me to wake me in lieu of my alarm. You know how those cartoon characters look when they're electrocuted? That's exactly how I woke up. FML
Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML
Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
I can't decide which makes this funnier, if he's calling because he's voting for Trump or you are.
JasonThorn 23
Ahem...why "temporarily?"
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Comments (3)
JasonThorn 23
Ahem...why "temporarily?"
Brightside86 31
I can't decide which makes this funnier, if he's calling because he's voting for Trump or you are.
suntrkr 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
not that this proves it is happening currently in Ohio with Haitians, but in the late 70's/ early 80's, a large influx of immigrants from VietNam settled in the area of Garden Grove, California. In the years immediately following this, the City eliminated all Animal Control services as there were no more stray dogs or cats once restaurants began to open serving Vitnamese cuisine. so it's not outside the realm of possibilities.