dad
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ed5509
Chesapeake, United States
Revelations
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
MGZ
United States
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
OhFseriously123
Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Oops54321
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
angrymother
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Anonymous
Spencer, United States
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
All kinds of wrong
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
awskme
France 🌶️ Spicy
Disrespectful
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
aprouddaddy
Paris, France
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
yabbadabbadooyah 12
Yes but what if you're in the daughters position, middle of the night, can't fall asleep because of the noise, and you've made it clear you're awake by slamming doors, coughing, flushing the toilette, and flashing the lights? I've found myself in this situation many times, I've gotten used to sleeping on the deck.
Rajuur 2
I am so rustled by the comments, but after such a long time it doesn't matter anymore.
kelseythompson 27
ydi your daughter shouldn't be able to hear you thats sick
fail_gurl21 7
YDI. keep it in ur pants until she's out of the house. i'm 15 and have heard my parents multiple times. i just sneak outta the house.
Jxv 15
"One sex" "Shit i meant sec"
measishouldbe 17
It pisses me off how my mum sits there saying its awkward for her to think about me having sex in the house (not allowed though) but i get to hear my parents doing it. But according to her, it doesnt matter how awkward that makes me feel... So im siding with the daughter on this one. The parents should understand that no child wants to hear that and be respectful, especially if they are gonna go on about not wanting to hear their adult child doing it.
Kwphunter 15
Were you filming with your phone or something? Mine would've been somehwere on the floor in jeans.
Elisabetha Aarron 18
Was it that bad that you thought checking your phone was a good idea???? How boring and bad was it????