Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the amount I used was about 100 times more than you're supposed to use. It took an hour of burning agony to find out the only way to get even a hint of relief was to cover my nuts in yoghurt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband misheard me when I said I wanted a massage with sensual oils. He used essential oils instead. Essential oils are not meant to be used on the skin, trust me. My skin looks like a cross between sandpaper and pus-filled bubble wrap. FML
Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML
Today, after an extremely stressful day, I took a hot bath when I got home. I used my little sister's bubble bath to make it more enjoyable and relaxing. I then broke out in hives. I guess I'm allergic to bubble bath. FML
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Top comments
Tamandua 19
I guess you weren't koalafied to use that oil.
saifnaqvi11 21
Step 1. Take random product Step 2. Pour randomly in bathtub without reading directions Step 3. ????? Step 4. Um... You get baby skin? I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish here.
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Comments (59)
Welshite 40
You'll be the most popular man among the koalas for awhile. You should wear a cup just in case they start chewing.
SOILEDIT 51
Tasty.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Didn't you read how much to apply before applying it onto your skin?
saifnaqvi11 21
Step 1. Take random product Step 2. Pour randomly in bathtub without reading directions Step 3. ????? Step 4. Um... You get baby skin? I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish here.
gemstone586 12
He was trying to relax, as stated. You DO realize that eucalyptus oil is a very strong oil that takes like 2 drops, right? it would be pretty easy to make this mistake.
Kitouran 30
Yeah, but a hundred times? That obviously means he just winged it, or he would have realized his mistake and redrawn his bath.
andrmac 25
What he got was hot nuts!
Tamandua 19
I guess you weren't koalafied to use that oil.
SOILEDIT 51
No, he wasn't koalafied to read the instructions.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Leaf it to OP to make a silly mistake like this! ...oil let myself out :3
TonierShadow 19
I wonder if urban dictionary has a word for dipping your balls in yogurt?
Welshite 40
Tapioca pudding.
False_Stupidity 42
Thanks Welshite, you've totally turned me off tapioca pudding for life...
jdw17 13
God bless your balls. I hope they fully recover.
TMWhisp 22
A little goes a long way, man. Good luck telling your wife about this!
davisjenny81 30
Does anyone know what the chili pepper by OP's name means?
tarlax 11
It means OP's balls feel about as hot as chilli peppers right now.
Shadow9876 19
Burning balls = Chili Pepper
PurpleMyth 28
It means that it's an NSFW FML
emanhernandez 22
What does nsfw mean
Sir_ND_Pity 35
#20, it means Now Show Friends and Workmates :)
GekkyGekko 2
NSFW= Not Safe For Work
vaderislord 6
You are supposed to mix essential oils with a carrier oil(grapeseed, coconut, etc) before applying them to skin, ingesting them, and even before putting them in bathwater. Make sure to mix them together before pouring them in, don't pour them in separately. You can do a little research on google to find the ratio, sites like edens garden, young living, etc should have them. Water does not dilute oils, and they are too corrosive and volatile to just pour in without proper dilution. It is harmful and as you unfortunately found out, can burn your skin.