Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the amount I used was about 100 times more than you're supposed to use. It took an hour of burning agony to find out the only way to get even a hint of relief was to cover my nuts in yoghurt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband misheard me when I said I wanted a massage with sensual oils. He used essential oils instead. Essential oils are not meant to be used on the skin, trust me. My skin looks like a cross between sandpaper and pus-filled bubble wrap. FML
Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML
Today, after an extremely stressful day, I took a hot bath when I got home. I used my little sister's bubble bath to make it more enjoyable and relaxing. I then broke out in hives. I guess I'm allergic to bubble bath. FML
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Top comments
Tamandua 19
I guess you weren't koalafied to use that oil.
saifnaqvi11 21
Step 1. Take random product Step 2. Pour randomly in bathtub without reading directions Step 3. ????? Step 4. Um... You get baby skin? I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish here.
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Comments (59)
ragnarok1540 39
Keep your windows closed at night ... you don't want to wake up to a pack of koalas nibbling on your balls!
H4H 15
I didn't know Koalas liked yogurt
ragnarok1540 39
There is nothing quite like the taste of sweet yoghurt drizzled over balls ... er, I mean eucalyptus leaves.
phantomxbg 17
That must have yog*hurt*
sighlifeman 12
at least it wasn't some hair removal stuff
8djht8 19
Dear everyone ever, please read everything you sign and consume. The writing is there for a reason, allergies/ingredients/side effects/legal issues/SERVING SIZE/etc. I assure you if you read every single thing you come across you'll only benefit. Let's make this planet's inhabitants more intellectual most "accidents" are amazingly easily avoidable please let's end the age of ignorance this world is constantly being destroyed by its citizens. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Please and thank you.
Isa_fml 20
You deserved it. Why would you not check how to use it first if it's something you've never used before? Or asked your wife? Don't mess around with essential oils, they're very strong and some of them can really irritate your skin. Or poison you.
sempisaviour 17
you should have read the directions
EthanMcNash 6
How did you figure that out?
False_Stupidity 42
Well, at least you will have super clear sinuses. There is a silver lining to every FML if you just search enough.
Symphoniaes 32
Damn dude I'm really sorry. You're only supposed to use about a drop per bathtub, two if you really want it to mint up in there. Sorry you had to find that out the hard way! :/
Bunnyluver 20
Oh yeah! I guess that's partly why only kolas can eat it.