Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the amount I used was about 100 times more than you're supposed to use. It took an hour of burning agony to find out the only way to get even a hint of relief was to cover my nuts in yoghurt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband misheard me when I said I wanted a massage with sensual oils. He used essential oils instead. Essential oils are not meant to be used on the skin, trust me. My skin looks like a cross between sandpaper and pus-filled bubble wrap. FML
Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I tried to relieve my back pain by lounging in a jacuzzi at my mother's house. All was going well until I accidentally knocked an opened container of bath salts into the tub, which got sucked into the jet system, shooting tiny, sharp, barely dissolved pieces of salt into my back. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML
Today, after an extremely stressful day, I took a hot bath when I got home. I used my little sister's bubble bath to make it more enjoyable and relaxing. I then broke out in hives. I guess I'm allergic to bubble bath. FML
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Top comments
Tamandua 19
I guess you weren't koalafied to use that oil.
saifnaqvi11 21
Step 1. Take random product Step 2. Pour randomly in bathtub without reading directions Step 3. ????? Step 4. Um... You get baby skin? I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish here.
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Comments (59)
thefmlman2011 37
What flavour? vanilla? passion fruit? strawberry? We need answers damn it!
mylsux 15
Tingle All the way...
phantomxbg 17
YDI, guys don't do that and shouldn't.
TMWhisp 22
Why not? Why can't men do that?
phantomxbg 17
It's for girls and not meant for guys
vaderislord 6
It's for both. Eucalyptus has a great effect on your respiratory system. It helps you breath better, especially with allergy season and asthma! My boyfriend has asthma and eucalyptus has helped him tremendously.
tarlax 11
34 clearly thinks he's some kind of really macho alpha male. God help him when the dumb **** finishes school and has to exist in the real world.
phantomxbg 17
Chill dude, bathing is for girls and is marketed to them. Don't be stupid in the Internet
phantomxbg 17
What I mean is he probably doesn't have anything wrong with him, and he used way too much and it's his fault
Sayeret_Matkal 18
@40 Keep digging that hole, friend.
ksks1234 33
Bathing is for girls? I really do not understand how baths are either feminine or masculine.
DoomedGemini 38
Don't you understand, he has to label things 'manly' or 'girly' so he can feel manly himself.
phantomxbg 17
You're the one digging a hole
DoomedGemini 38
Yeah others are the idiots and the ones digging a hole, yet here you are getting downvoted with many different people disagreeing with you..
manuwish 9
Everyone learns from experience..look at it from a positive angle OP, you learned that you can't put out an oil fire with water and finally got to literally experience Jerry lee Lewis lyrics :))
H4H 15
That's rough OP, but it would have been reasonable to check with your wife on how to use the oil
catsy101 6
Does no guy read instructions?
RedDevilOut 7
A bath, with pretty eucalyptus in it? How sexy of you. Dont worry, your balls will be fine from the breeze you'll get with your SKIRT on NANCY. YDI.
blackjackandcoke 9
Ow ow ow. I don't even have balls but I sympathize for you, man.
TomeDr 25
OH my! Your username made me laugh!
lucygwen 5
Moisturise lots ! That stuff sets your skin out and if it itches don't scratch !