Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I moved my dad's chair to look for my phone, but forgot to put it back. When my dad came back, he tried to sit down in the area where his chair usually is, but instead fell down on the floor, yelling, "YOU MOVED MY CHAIR!" FML
Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Your dad couldn't be more wrong. Poltergeists don't live in wardrobes. Only lions and witches do.
marcranger 29
I would've been thrilled to have more privacy from my parents at whatever cost, OP! Keep banging on the walls and making odd moaning noises--that'll show him. ;)
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Comments (26)
FemskyD 26
And this was The Guy who d take care of thr spiderman when you were young? XD he just needed to cover his manly faillure
1947Chevy 17
Tell him you will salt your room
BlondePsycho 43
This seems like the perfect opportunity to prank him.
Lars93 18
be glad. what an asshole
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Wait, how does this make OP's dad an asshole?
chefcow 17
Now would be the perfect moment to convince him that the "poltergeist" is everywhere in the house
AydenCasey 2
Get it to 10,000 "I agree your life sucks"'s
coldwar252 13
Who you gonna call? Ghost busters!
SoullessSolace 12
This is a golden opportunity to begin some epic pranking!
0neiros 14
Just tell him "Oh I'm fine, she isn't mad at me."
Use0nceDestroy 2
lmao. ur dad sounds awesome.