Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
davidpropert 32
Since she didn't notice the tattoo until during sex, is it weird she knows her brother has the same one?
Welshite 39
Your name wouldn't happen to be Joe Dirt, would it?
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Comments (129)
groza528 17
...For added awkwardness, it was a heart that said "Mom" in it. But it's not the SAME mom! Probably.
breakinlegs 19
did her brother rape her...
Lizzzzzard16 6
Wow that must suck shes scar for the rest of her life haha lol!!!
Dilwann 27
Panic attacks typically last 5-20 mins. So half an hour may be a bit of an exaggeration. But I doubt anyone's surprised.
glabberfasted 16
I've had one for almost an hour before. They're not all the same.
jh921971 10
If she gets that worked up about a tattoo run like hell. She's a bag of emotions.
akakennedy 16
Escape while you can!
kbuglgbco 4
That sucks! Lol but it's unfortunate that was you first and it got ruined because of that. At least it's a memory you'll have. Sorry OP
JhovannyA 7
What kind of tattoo is it ? Well FYL OP. I'm not sure she wants to stay friends with benefits
captinerica 7
She sounds...stable?
worldclassrager 39
Was it a gang symbol? I can underhand then... A tat is a tat...if there is a repeat it shouldn't be a huge problem...