Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
davidpropert 32
Since she didn't notice the tattoo until during sex, is it weird she knows her brother has the same one?
Welshite 39
Your name wouldn't happen to be Joe Dirt, would it?
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Comments (129)
sunnyray812 42
Have sex with someone who actually wants to be in a relationship with you next time.
int15 18
Puritan much?
Epikouros 31
How is a relationship going to avoid panic attacks? Remember the virgin who fainted on his wedding night.
Xalandra 17
Well obviously OP is not a virgin and not waiting for marriage. There is a lot less risk in being monogamous with your sex partner than just having casual sex with several people. I'm not saying thats what OP is doing, but FWB doesn't mean they're being monogamous. Just sayin, there's less risk with sex if you don't go spreading it around and if you're in a trusting monogamous relationship.
AntiPrude 26
31 Did you ever think that maybe doesnt want a ******* relationship, and just wants a partner to express some intimacy with, without any complications? Apparrently this thought is somehow too complex for you bible folk to comprehend.
NatalieOntheTram 11
It's kind of weird, yeah, but to have a full-blown panic attack over it seems a bit melodramatic.
xxxkassixxx 8
Well she might just have gotten a little freaked out because you have the same tatoo has her brother has she is having sex with you just give her some time it should be fine :)
Brett121 6
first: its tattoo* and second: what are you saying? that made no sense at all
alycion 38
Stick with unique, custom work. Then next time for her it will be like sex in museum and she can freak out about sex in public. Will make just as much sense.
mooseantlers 1
sounds like you have a pretty generic tattoo then, YDI
peggersmum 14
Loving the username!
swedeNix 13
Thats why i design my own tattoos, that way i know no one Else has the same:)
Noahparker16 4
Cockblocked by a tattoo
Culpion 3
I agree with #14, it sounds to me like there could be some trauma in her past that involves her brother, and the tattoo acts as a potential trigger.
Gottobekiddingme 7
You got a tattoo before your first piece?? So very wrong.
squidgy787 22
That depends on how you read the post. I think it's more likely that he meant it was the first time having sex with this particular girl. But even if not, what's the big deal? I got my first tattoo at 17.