Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
davidpropert 32
Since she didn't notice the tattoo until during sex, is it weird she knows her brother has the same one?
Welshite 39
Your name wouldn't happen to be Joe Dirt, would it?
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Comments (129)
JuliieNiiki 8
Well why do you both have the same tattoo
Setareh23 34
Probably just a coincidence. It happens :P
coraline123c 23
Why? I don't see what the problem was
Epikouros 31
Maybe the tattoos weren't actually the same, but the girl couldn't see the difference between the Chinese characters for 'stinking donkey' and 'toilet drinker'.
askingandy 23
It's probably best that friends with benefits be fully stable mentally and emotionally
AntiPrude 26
People with issues can have sex too bro. You dont need mental clarity for sex, just protection.
little_one1 14
You have put YOURSELF in the friendzone.
FinJage 18
The real fml here is that you both have the same generic tattoo.
FrankHotpants 31
Let me guess, barb wire or tribal arm band?
obri98 10
Maybe she was like raped/molested by her brother or something, you never know, right?
anotherbrittany 5
If that's the case I would highly recommend therapy, that could come back to haunt her. Also maybe the tattoo it's self wasn't the case maybe it was an excuse to cover up a deeper issue, either way it's not normal I mean it's a tattoo for crying out loud.
fmlrulesBolt 14
That sucks
brandoneyez1 25
So many questions, what and where? Why does she know of this tattoo that went unnoticed before? Do you really think you can be friends with benefits without this becoming something more?
AntiPrude 26
Not really business what he thinks about fwb.
fictionaldiary 11
The tattoo could have easily been on his chest or back and she just never had seen him without a shirt before. The last question is none of your ******* business.