Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, the girl I was going to hook up with took off her clothes and revealed she had an absolutely disturbing tattoo of a rotting zombie head on her lower stomach and groin, the idea being that during sex my penis would look like it was in the zombie's mouth. I couldn’t go through with it. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
davidpropert 32
Since she didn't notice the tattoo until during sex, is it weird she knows her brother has the same one?
Welshite 39
Your name wouldn't happen to be Joe Dirt, would it?
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Comments (129)
Vnzlan_girl 10
It's just a tattoo. she needs to calm down. Get a new FWB hopefully one who is a bit more stable (:
emilyjgraham 34
I wouldn't say having a panic attack is mentally unstable. People who suffer cam lead pretty normal lives without it bothering them if they're able to keep what sets them off away. Maybe it was the initial thought of it. I'm sure she'll be play after a while. People should be so quick to want to get rid of someone!
breakinlegs 19
get rid of people quick, its not his girlfriend its just a girl who wanted to **** who clearly has problems
emilyjgraham 34
That is extremely selfish of you. Yes she might just be somebody to bang but I don't really think anyone should judge and "dump" someone because of a panic attack. I'm sorry, but I don't think whoever the girl goes on to be in a relationship with should be the only one that puts up with it. You'd make her feel like absolute shit if that were the case.
ChenEighty 20
With another tattoo? You're generally naked during sex.
killerclowns 8
I don't think she wants to be friends with benefits anymore
perdix 29
A half-hour should be enough time for you to finish. And her panicked breathing will make it sound like you're doing a good job -- the benefits go on and on!
Paradoxxxx 16
That's a mood killer
WhiteCrimson 23
She clearly has a weird family.
aubama_fml 15
who knew one tattoo could make that effect. Hopefully you're not his lookalike
Sriehl 13
Well...that must have been awkward...but at least you have a funny story to tell now :)
Ksweety_fml 27
Yea, now you remind her of her brother.
Acik91 26
No way, how did you figure that out?
imchacon22 19
Pretty sure the sex sucked so she made up an excuse to make it stop. Sorry.
ericsullie94 1
is that what happened to you?
AntiPrude 26
@30 Aww, its that time of the month again, isnt it