Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed...

By Failed Artist - 30/8/2015 04:49 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

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Miscellaneous

Rock, hard place

Banished

Yappy neighborhood

By Anonymous - 14/5/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/5/2020 08:00

Never? NEVER?!

Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for 4 years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/6/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

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By BabyDaddy - 30/5/2010 08:05 - Australia

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

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By Lolabunny - 21/8/2018 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

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By wormsick - 6/12/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

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By Coolios - 24/6/2013 14:16 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

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By working_as_usual - 8/10/2012 00:09 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

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By BlueSuit - 14/2/2016 19:20 - United States - New York

Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML

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By joanikens - 26/3/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

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By life// - 8/1/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

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By Maruska28 - 7/9/2017 20:00

Today, we bought our first home after months of searching and years of saving. It's directly in the path of Hurricane Irma and may be destroyed before we even get the chance to move in. FML

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By loneliness - 30/12/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

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By AkaiKitsune - 27/8/2017 04:30

The Trifecta

Today, after blacking out from fever, I found out that the reason I've been feeling so sick is that I've somehow come down with pneumonia, strep, and the common cold all at the same time. FML

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By Katsuria - 25/7/2020 14:01

Unreasonable

Today, my mother disowned me because I wouldn’t fill out her visa application for France so that she can see her boyfriend. The reason why I refused was because my husband and I are on our honeymoon, and would like to spend some time together. I guess that makes me a “useless” daughter. FML

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By mael - 25/11/2008 08:54 - France

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

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By ConfusedGirl - 15/12/2015 13:03 - United States - Pittsford

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

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By hellokitty133 - 30/9/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/9/2014 10:55 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

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By Tripp - 14/7/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

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By oops - 4/3/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

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By rejected - 29/1/2010 14:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

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By nodullmoment - 26/4/2013 03:01 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

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By THANKS - 19/6/2015 08:37 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

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By Tay - 17/2/2012 01:29 - Australia

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

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By Mommy - 29/9/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

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By anonymous - 11/6/2010 04:56 - Canada

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

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By Anonymous - 2/1/2014 21:50 - Puerto Rico - Arecibo

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

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By Ned - 29/8/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/2/2012 21:27 - United States

Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML

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By boiled ladybits - 25/6/2020 14:02

Call the waaaambulance!

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

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By damn - 4/1/2013 14:08 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

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By Freebie - 17/6/2017 06:00 - United States - Altoona

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

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By "Kilamo" - 25/1/2020 14:00 - United States

Best words

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear "would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me"? with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

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By soapy - 1/10/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

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By Theboredone - 29/3/2018 19:00

Today, after a week on bed rest in a cast after ankle surgery, I got so bored and lonely I agreed to do an hour-long government phone survey just to have someone to talk to. FML

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By chaos2007 - 13/5/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

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By ljcxo17 - 1/7/2011 08:49 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

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By Darth Vomitus - 10/8/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

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Top comments

By hellnosucka | 27

#6397438 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:28

what a warm and loving grandmother you have

By dezman2000 | 21

#6397459 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:37

Don't you hate when even your own family puts you down and doesn't encourage you to do what makes you happy? Especially the older family members.

COMMENTS

By hellnosucka | 27

#6397438 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:28

what a warm and loving grandmother you have

RainTears | 15

#6397484 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:57

Grandma roasted him so hard even i felt the burn

emisheah | 17

#6465795 - Friday 20 November 2015 9:17

Read that in Ron Swansons voice

By liquifiednate | 21

#6397439 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:29

Don't you love how the elderly are so truthful?

MidnaLink | 32

#6397448 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:33

*Notices sarcasm anyway* No, not really.

By coried91 | 28

#6397440 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:29

Well, at least now you know what she thinks... She could have been less bitchy though.

By rileyrae0000 | 23

#6397441 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:30

Savage grandma

By wickedhyype | 17

#6397455 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:35

Lol old people spit the truth because they just dont care. Loool

By TheBelt | 19

#6397456 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:36

Grandmas, gotta love me

redrain567 | 16

#6397805 - Sunday 30 August 2015 23:54

But I don't love you.

By dezman2000 | 21

#6397459 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:37

Don't you hate when even your own family puts you down and doesn't encourage you to do what makes you happy? Especially the older family members.

By olpally | 32

#6397481 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:55

Put it up anyways.

By JustinJK | 21

#6397485 - Sunday 30 August 2015 17:57

an empty wall*

By Wolfipoo | 31

#6397508 - Sunday 30 August 2015 18:27

FYL OP, old people aren't always the kindest sadly, you were just unlucky, and your pictures were probably great despite her accusations.