Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML
Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
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Top comments
Clevelandians 17
How exactly is she getting your toenails
Myo_fml 20
OP, I do believe she may be putting a spell on you and you should run.
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Comments (58)
abNormal62 23
I think this is just a standard usage "claws" for the box
Peachtranquility 15
wow. just wow.
coldasfire 23
OP here, you seem confused on how she gets my toe-nails but it's pretty straight forward. Whenever I'd clip them, I'd toss them in the bin. She reluctantly used to go over there moments after and only recently I noticed her doing so. Yes, it's majorly disgusting, but it's not a problem anymore since we've gone our separate ways. :)
devinaww 15
deal breaker
Klwulffy 14
1) Run 2) Change your name 3) Dude she's ******* insane if she keeps your toenails! Agh As soon as you saw that I would've jumped out the window and drove away as fast as I can.
Denny1988 19
don't break up with her, you might end up missing, when she goes to work one day, you call in sick and spend that day packing your things, move out and leave the city
jat_fml 3
arab
netflixjunkie8 8
Definitely some type of Socerey going on there.
Bethani420 5
red alert. check the music box when your toes go missing.
nachtii 6
Sounds like some voodoo magic goin on... *ENTER David Bowie stage left* *cue music* *ENTER labyrinth characters*
moms11 5
love that movie!
sabrinawho 15
Power of the voo doo, who do? You do!