Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML
Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Clevelandians 17
How exactly is she getting your toenails
Myo_fml 20
OP, I do believe she may be putting a spell on you and you should run.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
ballbags 14
She has put the mama-Luke on you son. It's probably fuel for her voo-doo doll
dawood_k 27
Oh that's just nasty. Be afraid very afraid... By any chance does you GF tip-toe to the music from the box
AndyPurdy 31
ok thats weird and a bit creepy
bleedingglitter 24
At least she doesn't have the grandmothers toenails in there. That would be really weird.
rvontr88 21
...Run. Just Run.
atsignat 18
I don't believe in spells but I do believe in crazy! Unless she has a credible intellects or emotionally attached explanation you must run away as far as you can and even that is too "decent". Maybe you just need to run now
hyy 9
وطوويي
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
You're not from around here huh.. hello!!
graphicstyle7 17
Sounds harmless. Keep her. At least she's not a crazy Christian.
MrConcise 35
The reason to bring up crazy Christians is that they give a bad reputation to an entire group of people that practice human decency, believe that there is good in the world, and dare themselves to dream of life being larger than what they see. I may be an atheist, but I wholeheartedly respect the values the average Christian is brought up with and taught by their faith. By comparison, a crazy girl with no group affiliations collecting toenails is much more harmless.
rachelllllb 18
sorry, but thats just plain creepy...
Based_Muhmd 12
That's... Really disturbing, and disgusting.