Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML
Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML
Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
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Top comments
Clevelandians 17
How exactly is she getting your toenails
Myo_fml 20
OP, I do believe she may be putting a spell on you and you should run.
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Comments (58)
RabbitOfAurora 28
The real question here now would be is this a deal breaker for you OP?
kylieh72 25
Also, would she be willing to stop that and see a therapist?
Raxy_fml 18
The real question is how she got OP's toenails.
gabythatcher 21
at least they weren't her grandma's toes
Myo_fml 20
OP, I do believe she may be putting a spell on you and you should run.
ttoriiii 10
Well they are toenails, so OP might not be able to use his feet...
ironmany_fml 23
yes.. toenails. definitely there is some voodoo stuff goin on here
triplebeerox 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This sounds pretty creepy but maybe it's like how parents keep their kids' teeth. Maybe she just really cares about you?
chocolatelover96 14
Keeping children's lost first teeth is one thing, keeping a grown man's toenails definitely isn't normal. ....
FMLusername969 21
Ahhhh. NO.
Clevelandians 17
How exactly is she getting your toenails
VeganVampyre 27
Well, my boyfriend clips his toenails wherever he happens to be at the time that it occurs to him to do it, and he just leaves the clippings there. I find them all over the house. Maybe OP is like that as well, and the girlfriend is just gathering them up as she finds them? Although I still don't understand the "keeping the box natural" part... That's definitely strange.
mountainmanmike 11
^ I'm sorry :/ he really shouldn't do that. Maybe you should be the one casting a spell.
WaltzingPhanthom 23
The tonsils are for your safety.
Logicscmogic 5
Imagine she clips his toenails as he sleeps......
Dean__Winchester 16
If you piss her off and then bad luck comes your way I'd start looking for the hex bag. Just saying...
DewIchigo 17
The fact that you have your profile picture as Dean Winchester makes your comment 10x better
JMichael 26
Someone watches a lot of Supernatural. Good man.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Well said, Dean-o.
Indianboy9321 25
That habit has got to be the nail in the coffin for your relationship.
VeganVampyre 27
You mean the toenail in the music box.
iireenee 23
This is one of the grossest things I have ever heard. Fyl! I hope she doest do things even weirder...!
Cebolamole 13
How does she collect the toenails in the first place? Don't you cut your own toenails? Do you leave the toenails lying around?