Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
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Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
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Comments (198)
nofearjenshere 12
Or he could use a condom.
Classlfied 4
Condoms are for sailors hun...
Enslaved 38
Semen, too. (:
BrysGirl27 14
Or he could get kicked In the dick. That always works too:p
j_cat187 20
Haha my dick is like a submarine: it's long hard and wet. It is also full of semen.
ycrem0n 21
Condoms are too mainstream
HeartOfLead 24
Why argue with the fun way? If I were to do the kicking, steel toe's the way to go!
whitey53 5
Red Forman voice: dumbass.
yourmama94 1
Lol I'm pretty sure you brought back some amazing memories
nsnforever 2
If I could thumb up your comment a million times, I would.
WhyCantIDoRight 5
When ever I see the word "dumbass" it comes out in his voice anyway.
bizarre_ftw 22
"[...] you know what else is a great method of birth control? My foot in your ass!"
Wozuh 5
It takes a lot of balls to try that method.
Sumo69 9
Yeah sore ones lol
FlashBurn 13
No, frankly. Just two.
mpsteve137 15
Well I guess if you tried hard enough it'd work eventually
guy24 9
You didn't say how hard. If it were hard enough he would not ever have babies.
Enslaved 38
I thought it was only early childhood "bicycle accidents".
ryanLinke 4
should t that be an fml for him id u think that......
JustDerpin 11
you should check your sentence before you post it. ._.
DracoSpirita 21
What did you say?
eeppiicc 8
Translation: shouldn't that be an FML for him if he thinks that.
linkinpark98 24
Do it. Don't let him reproduce. ._.
asdfghjklana 9
Try it out.
jerseyboy732 16
he deserves to get kicked in the balls for even suggesting that